I'm so busy lately. I'm looking forward to this weekend so much because...



I'm going to Disney for 3 nights!! I have Monday off, obviously, and Tuesday I'm playing golf at Disney's Magnolia golf course. So it's the perfect recipe for a great weekend; 3 day weekend instead of 2, time away with Courtney (and her family), and golfing with the guys!

Good Times

I found this song on Switchfeed.com a couple days ago.

I don't think it was a coincidence that two or three days after I heard this song, I had an encounter with a homeless man when I was walking out from a restaurant I ate at. I've always had a heart for the hurting, I don't know why, I just have a heart for people who feel left out, forgotten, or wounded. It may have to do with my personality, and being the baby in a big family, it's easy for me to feel left out or forgotten sometimes.

Anyways, I was walking to my car, and a homeless man came running up. He had a bike with a basket on the front. In his basket was a bottle of glass cleaner, a stack of newspaper, and a trash bag. He asked, "Sir, before you leave, can I wash your windshield for you?" I said, "No, that's ok, I don't have any cash, I only have a few coins in my car." (Which was true, I hardly ever carry cash) While I was still finishing telling him I had no money to give him, he started washing my windshield. I said, "Man, listen, I really only have a few coins here! I have no cash, you don't need to do that."

He kept washing. He said, "Tomorrow is not promised. I don't like to beg for money, so I used some money that I begged for to buy this window cleaner. I figure that way; I can at least work for my money. People will give you money if you do something for them, and I don't want to beg. Everybody has to work for their money. You work for your money, so I want to work for mine. I just can't get a job. I lost my license and I can't find work without a driver’s license. I'm just hungry, and I wanna work for my money. I just wanna work for my money."

For a few reasons, I didn't take the man in to get a bite to eat. But I have to say that today, I still can't stop thinking about this man. He's somebody's baby boy. I think about those words, like in the song that Jon Foreman is singing. He's somebody's baby, and he's on the streets. He's hungry. He has no one, riding around his bike trying to wash peoples windshields for change.

He touched my heart. I understood for the first time what Shane Claiborne meant when he said, "I didn't find Jesus in the seminary or the mega church, I found Him on the streets with the homeless."

I have a problem with taking action. If I had followed my heart last night, I would have taken that man back into the restaurant I just came from and sat with him while he ate. If I weren’t so distracted by all of the tasks and the responsibilities I have in this busy, business like world that we live in, I would have done the right thing. Gosh, I can get so mad at myself for missing that opportunity!

So not all stories have a happy ending. I missed my chance to love on this person. Maybe God will give me another chance with this man. I'll definitely be looking for him next time I go back to this restaurant!

God thank you for your grace when we fall short. Be with that man. Let him know your presence and your warmth. Let him feel your love. Let me see him again so that I can show him your love. Help me to love you enough that I have faith to do what you say. Help me to not make excuses. Thank you for your grace, help me to feel it, and not to beat myself up over this. Amen.

Hayden is home again! He got released from the hospital last night and he's back home, doing great. I'm so grateful, thank you God for that!

Hayden is back to eating!! They were giving him fluids through an IV until yesterday. The doctor said he wanted to try and feed him some milk, and my mom said that as soon as he got finished drinking it he fell right asleep, so content. That's all he needed, he was hungry! So now he only has the IV for purposes of getting meds, not for fluids. They also removed the tube that was in his nose, so he will be much more comfortable now.

This is my Nephew, Hayden Matthew Dunson. He was two weeks old when they found out he had a hole in his colon. He had to get rushed to the hospital to get surgery about a week ago. Since then, he has been in the ICU at Arnold Palmer, which I need to add, is the most amazing hospital I have ever been to. They have the most friendly, knowledgeable staff I've ever encountered. Anyways, Hayden is making great progress! All praise be to God for that, it's definitely a miracle from Heaven that he is doing so well right now.

There are many things people can focus on in situations like this. At first, I was scared out of my mind. I had never seen my sister in so much pain (not physical, emotional) in her life. My heart was broken for her, and we were all scared for Hayden. Such a precious little gift that none of us even wanted to think about losing. But I realized quickly that you can't focus on that. I think we all shifted our focus from somewhat of a panic to God's sovereignty and His ability to perform miracles. We (the family and many other friends and coworkers) started praying for little Hayden, and having faith that God would heal his body. He is still in the ICU today, but the doctors say he is right on schedule with his progress, which is just the kind of miracle we had all prayed for.

For the past two nights, I have stayed up at the hospital to be with Hayden through the night, just to give Amber and my mom a break so they can sleep. I have had to come to work tired, not having much sleep from the night before, and get up and do it again the next day, and again I was faced with what my focus was. I realized that even though I have had long days, I have had the privilege of spending so much time with Hayden. I have seen him more in the past 3 or 4 days than I ever have, and most of the time I've been up there, it's been just me, him and one other person in the room for hours. So I've had some quality bonding time, and I've missed having little babies around. I remember when Bethany and Emily were that young, but it's been a long time. So that in itself makes it totally worth being tired and sluggish.

In Steve Douglass' radio spots that I record, he says that love is not an emotion; it's an action and an attitude. I feel like this is one of the first times since I've been an adult that I've been able to show that kind of love to Amber, and I'm so grateful for that. I know that she really appreciates it, and that's another element that makes it worth it.

I've been giving life my best shot, and life has been shooting back. It's a constant struggle to remain selfless, but I know that's where fulfillment comes from. If we all helped each other and met our family and friends needs, then our family and friends would meet our needs in return, and we would live life how God intended it, as a community, bearing each other’s burdens, and being a servant to our neighbors. We need each other. That's what I've learned through this circumstance. We can't go through life alone.

I love you Hayden-Bear, and I'm so thankful that you're getting better!

-PEACE-

So I had to cancel my plans to go to Africa. I didn't have enough time to get things ready at work and to get all of the shots. I'm a little bummed about it, but at the same time, I know that there are many places that need people's help to spread love, and I will find another trip to go on. I just like breaking out of my shell and leaving the place where I'm comfortable.

I sometimes wonder if comfort ever does anyone any good, ultimately. Obviously, being comfortable seems great in the moment, but do we really grow at all when we're comfortable? I'm not sure. I think comfort is something I struggle with because I really want to be comfortable, but I love who I am when I'm not. I love being in new places, with new people, and at the same time, it's one of the things that's most difficult for me. Anyways, I don't know if I'm making much sense here, but I just wanted to throw that out there.


So the two main reasons that I wanted to go to Africa were:

1. To answer the call, "We need 3 more men to help with the Jesus Film showing"
-we know were called to share the gospel, so this was all the calling I needed, I have a desire to help.

2. To break out of the monotony of every day life, to get uncomfortable again, so I can focus on things that really matter. Too often I get comfortable, and lose focus.

There is no reason for me to be upset about not being able to go to Arfica this time. Bummed, yes I was bummed about it for a day or two. I wanted to answer a call, and I wanted to focus on stuff that really matters, loving my neighbors. I can do that in America every day, I can do that in Africa if I get the chance to go again.

- God help me to focus on stuff that really matters, and don't let me get too comfortable...Amen